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Mallorca 2022

Updated: Jul 23, 2022

Like so many intrepid Brit's abroad before us, we are headed for Mallorca . Where the "Water don't taste like what it oughta!"

A few days of Agadoo singing, Sangria swilling, tattoo wearing fun in the sun?

Friends of this blog are few and far between, but loyal and supportive regular reader, DP is marrying the lovely "Stacy's Mom". A wedding twice postponed by the pandemic, two years later we are dizzy with excitement!

Before I go further, this is a White embrodery Anglais affair rather than Black Lace! (Agadoo doo doo, Push Pineapple, shake the Tree) . This one Oozes sophistication.

Our first hotel was:

I would say it's not for me, infact yes, it's not for me. Bbb..but it was a good choice of venue prior to the wedding, and with about half the wedding party holed up there, it ticked many boxes. Great breakfast.

Massive, military style operation that clearly is a very popular destination . Roof top bar and pool made up for the lack of "Atmosphere" - Does Russ Abbott deserve a mention? (I suspect a number of the guests at H10 would have been very happy if he had come on over the pool speakers!) - Ouch unfair?!

S. Ponça beach was lovely and we had a great meal at Las Olas by the harbour.

Getting ready to swing a chicken in the air!

Day 1

Stag and hen parties, unnecessary drinking, a stripper, some inflatables, drunkenness, hilarity and friends, new and old. What goes on tour stays on tour.......let's leave it at that.

As a human born with external male genitalia, I was at the Stag. Not so the brides brother, who was the only gay at the hen party, a shame cos during the wedding speeches it turned out he was the funniest man at the wedding and a great loss to the stag do!

Day 2 slightly jaded. To be absolutely honest, we physical hid from the rest of the wedding-goers. Headed out of Santa Ponça. Later we shared fabulous meaty white turbot by the beautiful harbour of Port Andratx at Miramar restaurant. Please Go! The Albariño was light and fruity, with lemon zest, grapefruit, and melon, ending with a tingly finish. Perfect end to the day.

I'm certain we weren't missed, but I do understand that the alternative wedding party entertainment at Gringo Bingo in Magaluf was an absolute hoot! Comedy, dancing, bingo, drinking, were highly recommended. Eat, sleep, dance repeat, which is very slightly different from our @nhsontherun motto of 'eat, sleep, drift'.

Day 3 was another free day, so off we popped to Soller and Port Soller. A stunning part of the island that very few of the 44 million annual Mallorca tourists bother to find! Car hire I haven't yet mentioned. But I should have already said, without it you might as well hunker down in Magaluf and hope for 'two fat ladies, .... number 88'! Lunch in the square in Soller, followed by the obligatory tram ride down to the port. Beautiful day out.

Day 4 The Wedding

The wedding itself was outstanding in every respect. Set in the sophisticated hills north of Palma. Son Marroig between Daia and Valldemosa. The event was classy, stunning, generous, and delightful in every way! But as usual with this travel, food and wine blog, I'm not here to simper about things! Also, my blog has only attracted one reader, and he was the groom! So I am going to post a couple of photos, and say with all sincerity, it was a really great day. Thanks D&J and all their fabulous friends and family. Warm, heartfelt, and fun.

Day 5

We awake hanging and weary after an early morning return from the wedding. "Hi, Myyy name is Mick and vis is my last drink off the night!" seemed only moments earlier!! Some trepidation at the prospect of a pool party. Back in the old days, parents arranged such things for their children with chicken pox. Now, with Covid, it's a super soaker meets super spreader event! The venue despite its location in Magaluf is the luxurious Nikki Beach Club.

In retrospect we are going to blame our failure to embrace the day as fully as we might have, on day ONE of Covid. This evil mutant is now a whimper of its formerly lethal self (thankfully) but still enough to make you want to stay out of the sun, not consume 3litres of Rosado or jump up and down in a pool swinging a chicken in the air. We lasted till 8pm. Those viral victims at an earlier stage of incubation managed 2am which was a stellar immune system defying achievement. Enough Minuty rosé was consumed to refill the pool - this is a wonderful Provençal rosé light coloured just a hint of sweetness and lots of strawberry flavours. Best bought from Majestic at £14 rather than Nikki beach at €65 but worth it for venue and company!

Day 6

Pretty certain we were coming down with something by now. This can't just be hangover?

Also attending the wedding were my brother in law and his wife, so we had planned a trip down memory Lane to Arta. As kids, and growing our own young families we were regulars in the seaside enclave of Canyamel. The beach bar there holds very special memories for us all. It turns out that this place has lost none of its charm, been protected from high rise development and still does a mean Tuna Salad!

Arta is a very pretty hill side town 15 minutes inland. This means only a tiny number of people know it's there or want to stay there. More fool them. The boutique Jardi d'Arta hotel is what I call "a hidden gem". I shall post some photos, but I don't recommend you go there so that the rooms stay this cheap and the place remains an oasis of tranquility and calm without you there! It's the best hotel in the world . By a mile. Big call - I mean it! The town has no fast food, hardly any English speakers, proper Tapas, and a Tuesday market to rival any other.

Day 7

Mrs W was barking like a dog, Covid test positive, we decided to rebook our imminent return flight. It would be irresponsible to board a flight tomorrow . It's not at all what we want to do. It's an inconvenience. Whoppeeee! Stuck in Arta!

Some days later, after recuperation in Arta and Sant Elm we reluctantly boarded a flight back to Blighty. masked up, wiser, better fed (fatter) and joyously, with boosted immunity too!

Highlights :

1) ALL the boys speeches at D&J's wedding (including Ollie's)

2) The best turbot, at Miramar

3) A bottle of Whispering Angel Rosé in Sant Elm closely followed by a bottle of Rioja at restaurant Na Caragola.

The Rosé you know, but the Rioja was tannin heavy, Tempranillo at its very best, oak aged with the smoothness of an old marble step. Vanilla, black cherry, strawberry and chocolate with raspberry coulis. At 25€ a bottle it was wonderful. If I hadn't drunk most of it, I'd be able to remember its name!

4) Every plate of grilled sardines

5) The entire wedding but especially the audience rendition of "Tonight's going to be a good night"! Cause I gotta feeling (woo-hoo)

Crying, laughing, cringing simultaneously! Absofukinlutely Brilliant

6) Mexican Bills Vodka - firstly, carried through customs all the way from Mexico. secondly all his own work. And, thirdly just how gut wrenchingly horrible can neat vodka be???

7) how could I write about this wedding without noting my personal favorite, the stag night, the groom clad in an inflatable unicorn , oh woops! sorry! what goes on tour.......

8) this one event has been a microcosm of the whole Covid-19 pandemic. How much has this event been affected by the C-word!!? Delayed postponed and then stricken by Covid. But despite all the disappointments and illness and reorganising, we've come through it, the wedding was a triumph, they are married, and we all are different and stronger people.

This post is very much abridged on the grounds that at NHS on the Run we know how short your attention span is!

Thanks for reading !

See below for my selfish pick of the official Wedding Pics:

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1 Comment

David Price
David Price
Jul 07, 2022

About bloody time, we’ve been back a week and a half! Finally I get to read NHSOTR with a topic I’m interested in. Me.

Thank you for your kind words, for your efforts to come to our gig and, in this foody blog, for completely ignoring the delicious spread we lovingly curated for you on the day. Slow cooked lamb, saffron potatoes and Mallorca’s finest red.

Thanks also for the limited detail on the stag.

Love you guys. So glad you came. X

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